I've had this internal struggle with home decor. My gift is putting things together to make them look pleasing to the eye or interior decorating. Each year when the new trends immerged or the seasons changed, I found myself feeling the urge to change things up and re-decorate. My struggle was in the feeling after I had made my new purchases.
Growing up I was taught to value people and experiences, not things. So when I would look around my newly decorated, trendy room, I'd feel guilt! Did I really need that new vase? throw pillows? lamp?...and so I struggled. How could something bring me such joy yet leave me with a guilty conscience?
Not only did I struggle for my own decorating, but I began questioning my desire to even begin a career in interior decorating. I was afraid that to become a successful interior decorator meant I would become materialistic and shallow. In other words, I was afraid of losing "Megan". And let's face it, at the age of 30 I'm only beginning to uncover who Megan really is.
Growing up I was surrounded by love. My maternal grandfather built our childhood home when my mother was 3. She grew up in this home, began her married life in this home, raised her two daughters in this home, welcomed her first grandchildren in this home. She also was the caregiver to both of her aging parents and more recently to my father as he battled lung cancer in this home. In a home that once held a family of 7, every joyful memory of her life along with every reminder of a past life, my mother also found herself now alone at a crossroad.
The master bedroom was particularly difficult. Being an older home, this bedroom had gone through many renovations throughout the years from a living room when mom and dad were first dating, to a bedroom/nursery when I was born, to my bedroom as a pre-teen, to my grandfather's bedroom when he was ill and needed enough space for a hospital bed and then back to my parents bedroom again. You can imagine the memories enclosed in the four walls of this room. The difficulty wasn't just in the memories of the room, it was in the feeling of the room. Dark caramel walls surrounding dark, worn out furniture and crappy lighting.
The room drained your energy when you entered it instead of lifting you up.
It was also around this time I needed to find a final project for my interior decorating diploma. I told my mother I wanted to make-over her bedroom into a feminime retreat to reflect her personality as a thank you for being the woman she is and to restore some joy in that old room.
She gave me a budget and a few (ahem, a ton) of ideas she liked/disliked and I set to work...
Mother's Day 2013, with the help of my husband and father-in-law (thanks guys!) I revealed the room to my mother
What my mother gave back to me was priceless.
Remember the struggle I was having with interior decorating? It was shattered and replaced with sincere gratitude, infinite love and pure joy. That's when I knew this was for me.
My gift wasn't making things pleasing to the eye, my gift is making things pleasing to the heart. I had been missing the connection that certain things can represent. For instance, there is a poem framed in my mother's room that I found in a book that belonged to my grandmother. To anyone else it's a lovely poem. To my mother, it's a maternal connection. I want to share that feeling and connection with each of my clients and I want it to radiate through them every time they walk in their home. Call it what you want, interior decorating, design, re-modeling; I call it
craving your home.
P.S. I received an 'A' in my final project for my diploma :)